Wednesday, January 19

the kingdom of low carbdom

Let me ask you something. Specifically, let me direct my question at those still hanging out in the Kingdom of Low Carbdom. What is the point of the low carb diet? The experts have spoken; the verdict is in: you know damned well it’s not a permanent lifestyle choice. In fact, I’d render a guess that 97.5% of you following the craze will take a nose-dive off the bandwagon within the next 4 months.

I mean, come on--any nutritional choice that involves omitting whole sections of the food pyramid (barring allergies or other relevant excuses) seems to me an obviously short-term plan that is bound to fail. What it equates to for most involved parties is foul moods, clogged arteries, and a general feeling that a staple of all humanity is sadly/suddenly absent from their lives.

I know, nothing you haven’t already heard from bagel lovin’ fools like myself. But jump into my carb-happy shoes for a moment, have a seat next to me on the L (Chicago’s elevated train) tomorrow morning, and see it from my perspective:

One whiff of the bacon-y smells wafting from all the carbless souls sitting around you, and it’ll be all you can do not to run to the nearest Dunkin’ Donuts for a 12-pack, just to cut through the meatiness of it all. You’ll be back to your carberrific self in no time!

Note to the Anti-carb: Please don’t take this as a poke or a prod at your attempt to pull your body into line—-any societal movement away from obesity is wonderfully welcome. Plus, I’ve got to admit, a bit of admiration is due for the sheer willpower it must take for anyone to turn down a crusty-edged, fluffy-centered, butter (or in my case, Brummel & Brown®)-slathered hunk off a fresh baguette.

Though I do suppose you can just double up on the butter….


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